Just This

COLLECTION OF WORKS – ACRYLIC AND GOUACHE

“Just This” is a collection of works expressing the pursuit of loving not just the moments and people that come into our lives, but the emotions they leave us with. It is divine to release our limits and expectations and find acceptance in full – but it is brave, as humanity, to richly embrace all that comes with this choice: longing, sentiment, joy, uncertainty, and peace.

This work is named after a tiny book and concept by Richard Rohr - and while my collection is clearly inspired by his writing, it is more so an expression of my interpretation and experience attempting to align myself with the heart orientation he discusses. In the book he talks about the concept of contemplation – my favorite section of the book, where to me he describes it best, says this: “Non-dual consciousness is about receiving and being present to the moment and to the now, exactly as it is, without splitting or dividing it, without judgment, analysis, negative critique, mental commentary, liking, or disliking… In other words, your mind, heart, soul, and senses are open and receptive to the moment, just as it is. That allows you to say, ‘Just this,’ and love things in themselves, as themselves, and by themselves, regardless of how they benefit or make demands on you. Is there any other way to love anything?”

As for what this has looked like for me, I have tried to put it best in the words below:

There is hope and there is expect and there is want – and there is this.
Just this.

The this that is warm breeze and oak trees and golden grass winding through a canyon to songs that coast with your best – as much as it is coming home cold from a crowded place cause you didn’t feel seen.

The this that is a hand on your wrist at exactly the right time, and the this that is alone attempting to not be lonely.

The this that is being asked to go on a really good walk, and the this that is waiting a really long time to go on another, only for it to take you somewhere even more uncertain.

There is so much this to be stacked on the shelf for show – and there is so much this that gets shoved down, shut out, and silenced.

So I’ve been trying this –

That when this hurts I lay down so the tears streak sideways and it doesn’t feel like something I’m losing to the ground – but welcomed rain, releasing from the above.

That when there’s a this I thought this could really be something and it wasn’t, I give it a Marie Kondo thank you – but let the loss breathe before putting its contents into a box, because I’ve learned the loss of potential is loss all the same.

That when this puts your mind on a train to nowhere you want to go and leaves your body behind, you drag that body into a bath and study everything about how the water falling onto your feet feels until you are certain all of you is still right here.

That when this is a kiss on the forehead sweet, or music that sounds exactly the way you think, or inexplicable joy thick enough that you can’t stop from swaying – I tell any thought wanting to shroud this glow in their justification to shut. up. and just enjoy.

Because there is perfect and black-and-white and exactly as planned – and there is this.
To love the this that comes into our lives, and honor the this that it leaves us with –
Because I think it makes a lot more room for more of this. Just this.

Photography by Anchor Pictures